Pipe dream: movie “theatre”

I hate going to the movie theater.  It’s not the ticket prices.  And it’s not the price of the food and beverages – I rarely partake.  What I can’t take is the people.  For some reason it takes half the movie for people to open up their bag of candy.  Heaven forbid they use their teeth or try to perform their noisy actions during a period of the movie’s high audio volume.  And for some reason people think that repeating jokes back to the screens adds to the experience.  For some reason people think that trying to predict plot twists (20 minutes after anyone of intelligence has already seen it coming) is beneficial to the other moviegoers.  And don’t get me started on the people who let their mobile phone ring… and then answer it.  Or the people who keep up a running conversation with the person next to them.It’s more than I could take if I were watching the movie in my own house.  Forget paying $8 to $10 to put up with that nonsense.Here is my proposed solution: The Movie Theatre.  You read that correctly… “Theatre.”  The Movie Theatre consists of one or two screens at each cineplex.  It will be reserved for the one or two more popular movies out at the time.  Admission for The Movie Theatre will be around $14.  That is, a premium above regular ticket prices, but not completely unaffordable.  The price alone will act as a deterrent to noisy obnoxious people.  To further establish that this is a classy joint, a dress code will be established.  No shorts, no t-shirts, no sandals.  Next: no one under the age of 21, regardless of the movie rating.  In The Movie Theater, there will be a strict code of silence.  Audible talking, noise-making, or any mobile phone ringing or buzzing will be met with immediate dismissal from the theatre and a lifetime ban from The Movie Theatre.  These rules will be clearly broadcast before the beginning of the clip, and also when the ticket is sold.In short, I’d like to make going go the movies more like going to the opera.  And I’d be willing to pay a premium to get it.  By limiting this promotion to the most popular movie (or two), the theater operator can guarantee that the showings stay adequately attended.  Any additional staff that has to be hired to enforce the silence rules can be funded from the increase in ticket prices for these showings.With this, I’d start going to the movies again.  Until then, don’t spoil Wall*E or The Dark Knight for me — because I’m not going to see them until they’re available for home viewing.